Wild boars sack Rome

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Ome-Ray hopes ix-nay his ogs-hay roblem-pay.

Ome-Ray hopes ix-nay his ogs-hay roblem-pay.
Photo: Alberto Pizzoli / AFP (Getty Images)

Wild boars have recently descended on Rome, Italy and are terrorizing locals as animals rummage through the city’s garbage, offering ample free publicity to those who criticize the mayor’s garbage collection issue as the city prepares for the local elections this weekend.

Not only that, but … well, actually, it’s pretty much the whole story, to be completely honest with you. Definitely one of those ‘totally sucks if you’re there’ situations which is otherwise cute, funny, absurd, and / or nice to pull off for anyone who hasn’t had the bad luck of meeting a voracious, potentially forest pig. violent 220 pounds while accompanying their children to school.

Of course, there is only one way to combat this problem: a unified front of internet gags, puns, references, puns, and assorted frivolities. Okay, so apparently another option is to work with the locals to reform Rome’s broken sanitation infrastructure while adapting the hunting regulations to better eliminate the area’s wild boar population, but everything falls. far beyond our reach.

So, without further ado, here are some prompts to get us all on the right track here:

Honestly, it really shouldn’t be that hard as it turns out. A bunch of cute and fat baby pigs run around Rome, scaring old Italian ladies carrying shopping bags. It must be written immediately. Maybe it has something to do with knowing that our own woes in the United States overshadow the boar battalions of Rome, and that we simply, ruthlessly, seek distractions from existential American threats? The author of this play lives in New Orleans, and only just had their garbage picked up after six weeks late, including a disastrous hurricane. Who are we to judge?

… This is not what we had in mind after hearing about the Vatican footage Francis Ford Coppola The Hogfather: Part III.

Ahhh. Here it is.

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