MasterChef offers an advertising break with tradition
My superpower is extremely specific. I have the weird ability to magically look into the future, but only four seconds into the future, and only when I’m looking Chef and a commercial break is approaching. Then I transform into Katzman, a mystical predictor of the MasterChef Fiery Explosion visual effect.
What I’m doing is really weird: I’m somehow able to read the stressed faces of the candidates, spot the camera close-ups of kitchen accidents, hear the growing musical tension – then I shout, “L ‘fiery explosion is going to happen in four… three… two… NOW !!! And I’m right, I understand every time: my wife is dazzled, the dog is dazzled, the neighbors are dazzled (I shout “NOW” with tremendous vigor).
I actually only watch Chef for the Fiery-Explosion Foreseeing: I’m not interested in cringey crying competitors who always seem to be running for ice machines. I don’t care about that black-bearded judge who is still dressed like in a ’70s sci-fi movie where they try to imagine “future civilian outfits”. I’m not on any TV show where someone can watch something pink and meaty and say, “How about the crust on? this? »(Unless it is embarrassing bodies: so that makes sense).
So because I only watch Chef During the four seconds before the flaming explosion, I have to go through about 400 commercials that come immediately after the flaming explosion. I haven’t watched any commercials in years: I usually stream TV, or switch to another free station, watch something else for a while, and come back to my schedule exactly when the commercial was cut . finished (this is my other superpower. I am Katzman, the master of the remote control, enemy of the “Tradie Pits n Bits” advertising).
But the other night I was a microsecond late – a TV commercial started, and it piqued my interest so I kept watching. It was an advertisement for an insurance company and what surprised me was that almost everyone in the advertisement was a person of color. As far as I can remember, the only people of color in Australian TV commercials were sun-tanned lifers or Italian puppets with a Dolmio smile.
“It’s promising,” I said to myself. “One advertiser realized that this is not just a land of Anglos with blond hair and blue eyes. That this is a culturally diverse society, and that everyone deserves to be represented ”- that was a long, complicated, and too serious thought, and by the time I was done thinking about it, the next commercial had started.
This ad was for a car… and a non-white woman was driving the car. Amazing: As far back as I can remember, only white men drove cars in Australian TV commercials, with women either in the passenger seat or on the car as she passed by as if they wanted to sleep with her .
Now I was addicted to ads: I couldn’t stop watching – I counted seven ads in a row featuring multicultural people, gender equality situations, or same-sex relationships. “It’s not an anomaly” I thought to myself, “There has been a cosmic shift in the advertising landscape and we are finally seeing a wonderful, true vision of modern Australia!” Then a promo-ad for Peter Helliar’s How to stay married came, and the white whiteness hurt my eyeballs. Arghhhh! Stop that! The whiteness burns! Arghhhh!